I find that in my life ( and i hope I'm not the only one) i go through extreme phases. 6 months ago i hated my sewing machine. Today I made a dress for a friend and wanted to keep creating. During my first few posts makeup and skincare consumed me, now my life revolves around my nails and my art.
Whenever I can make something from seemingly nothing I am blissful. That being said, whenever I can make myself or someone else feel beautiful on a day when its completely necessary to contour and conceal and colour correct, I am in heaven. These phases find me as confused as you can possibly imagine. I will draw for weeks on end followed by a solid two weeks of charcoal not even crossing my mind. I will do my makeup obsessively to perfect my craft for months and all it takes is 3 good skin days of no makeup and I forget to care about concealing anything.
I'm one of those people that carries to do lists everywhere with 500 different tasks surrounding personal goals and future endeavors and manages to get 1/16th or less of it done at the end. I guess you could call me a flake, but how i like to think of it is that I'm a jack of all trades and i like it that way. I may not be able to cook a gourmet meal but i can bake the hell out of a few choice meals. I wont be able to sew and encrust a gown anytime soon but I can manage a sewing machine well enough to make a simple dress. I may not remember to continue a makeup blog but i can guarantee that one baby step at a time I have been bettering my skills slowly during these phases.
I can feel myself entering a phase now where beauty is coming back into the picture and trying to find space between the different ways of creating.
In the past year i have tried and failed, attempted to beat my path on a road that beat back and somehow found myself in a better spot than I originally intended to be.
Life does amazing things if you let it. Its much more difficult to force your way and feign interest than it is to let life carry you where it will. At the end of the day, I am happy with where I am. Being a jack of all trades, having 3625 urgent post it notes in my head at all times, heading on a much different path than I intended to be on one year ago. What i hate are loose ends. And if i never write another post I know at least I've written this.
Fellow flakes- i know you feel me.
I'll see you again. Maybe.